I have with me today a journal book. Most of what is in this book is my journey through COVID, starting April 3rd, 2020. There are facts, descriptions of life under lockdown, church re-defined, pages of frustration, anxiety doodles, fears, calming colouring pages, expressions of hope, lists, reflections on self and how I’ve changed, moments of capturing vision of what could be, exercises in emotional intelligence to reframe my thoughts and feelings. …
Life
is the writing of a book.
Understanding
life in this way opens a myriad of possibilities.
The
prophet Isaiah sings a beautiful song of a vineyard; describing God creating a
space, tending it, and caring for a people; an abundant illustration of God’s
kindom. A great song! Until one reads the next sentence, to find out that the
vineyard yielded wild grapes.
There
is a self-reflective section where God commiserates that the people have turned
to judge God and the vineyard; the people were not thrilled with kindom living
and turned on their relationships with God, creation, and each other.
God
throws up God’s hands and the whole vineyard, already in disarray, becomes a real
mess: trampled, overgrown, untended, infertile,
with no more fence and no water. If we continued to read the book we would find
out that the people end up in exile in Babylon. Each turning of a page in the
book of Isaiah, has the reader on alert, unsure if the text will be happy and
glorious describing beautiful images of vineyards, wholeness, heaven, springs
in the desert; or depressed and lamented accounts of destruction, forgotten and
broken relationships, unhealthy practices, exile; or hopeful visions of the
Messiah, days to come, God’s vision of covenant living, the heavens and earth
made new.
The
book of Isaiah is finished – a story that spans 200 years. History. It is over
and done, and yet not.
Emotional
intelligence learning has individuals consider their own story, ‘the Book of
You,’ so to speak. This narrative counseling approach separates life into past,
present, and future. The past is historical recounting, the present is now and
the only moment in which we truly live, and the future is a question mark –
unknown.
A
lot of people spend their lives hashing through previous chapters of life. I
could read my COVID journal and get emotionally caught up in what has already
been – reliving and re-feeling anger, fear, depression, confusion,
disappointments. I could dwell on the situations and circumstances that were and
make descending spirals of questions about ‘why?’ ‘how long?’ and have unhelpful
conversations ‘if only’ ‘it’s COVID’s fault’. I could get stuck and lost in a
never-ending film and forget to live in the present.
The
book of Isaiah – the destruction of the vineyard – what if the reader didn’t
continue to read? What if the reader kept rehashing this negative event, again
and again? The people did rehash the story over and over through the years of
exile; getting stuck in what had happened; weeping, ignoring the prophet’s
words, continuing the same practices, living on autopilot.
In
the book of Isaiah, we turn the page and find many chapters of recounted unhappy
history.
And
then, we turn the page to chapter 11 where we read:
A
shoot shall come out from the stump of Jesse and a branch shall grow out of his
roots…
The
wolf shall live with the lamb, the leopard shall lie down with kid…
They
will not hurt or destroy on all my holy mountain for the earth will be full of
the knowledge of the Lord…
What
a beautiful picture of the future – a future that is not yet but, could be.
The
idea of narrative counseling is recounting the past as fact and description of
experience, without attaching present emotion. The historical recounting of ‘the
Book of You’ gets you to this moment where we are right now. The blessing of
this moment is that it is an opportunity to turn the page. When I turn the page
of my COVID journal, it is blank, unwritten, full of possibility.
When
aware of myself - my emotions, my beliefs, my values, my hopes and dreams – I can
choose how to act in the situations and circumstances of the present.
If
I find myself in a place where a prophet speaks of a beautiful vineyard disregarded
and destroyed by human beings – which in some ways describes present times on
earth – I have choices:
1. I can, to my own detriment and the
detriment of the world, go back and fret about what has happened, why, how, blame
the who did it, judge others, say it wasn’t me, or whatever;
2. I could live on autopilot and shuffle
along, dragging my feet, waiting for some day, putting what energy I do have into
believing that everyone will eventually get what they deserve;
3. Or I can live a resurrected life – one
filled with grace and gratitude, where I choose to live now; where filled with
the Holy Spirit and the love of God I turn the page, and can start again; ….(flipping
the pages in the journal that are as yet empty); look how many times the
gift is given to start again.
There
is that choice in Isaiah 5, where the people (and there is record of a remnant
who did) had the opportunity to turn the page and consciously change their
emotions and actions. The remnant were those who continued to pray, to stay in
relationship with God, to act out God’s covenant, keeping the commandments, and
live as faithfully as possible despite the world around them; and to continue
to hold onto hope and live that hope out through actions. The remnant set about
recreating the vineyard – while others despaired about what was and still
others only talked about what could be.
We
are called to live a resurrected life – one filled with grace and gratitude; a
life lived in the now; turn the page of ‘the Book of You’ and begin again
creating and tending
God’s
vineyard to yield good grapes and produce wine that freely flows.
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