Part 3: EASTER

     -walking in from the back

I dreamed a dream in time gone by

When hope was high and life worth living

I dreamed that love would never die

 I dreamed that God would be forgiving...   Herbert Kretzmer - I DREAMED A DREAM

I had to come and see for myself; the tomb –empty.  After the darkness of the storm, the rumbling of the ground; the sporadic comings and goings on the streets, everyone lying low...I was sure that life had killed the dream.  That once again we were a people alone, that God forsook us...and this time died; was dead.

But the tomb, it looks open, empty.

Today, in the wee hours of the morning, the disciples –that is the boisterous, ranting, cheerleading Peter –came with an exaggerated tale.  He came to the tomb and then comes to tell us that it is empty...that the stone was rolled away, the linens were folded, and there were angels; mystical Peter.  He always seems to forget that many of us are “simple chic” –straight forward, step by step followers.  Practical.

This is not practical!                   

Potentially awesome, completely mind blowing if true, but not practical!

Could Jesus be alive?  Like Lazarus “a real live, once dead person”.

I’m no longer young and unafraid.  I’ve grown up; aged significantly in recent days.  And I am afraid.

This is serious business!  Something one could get killed over.

Perhaps Jesus body was moved, just to excite an excuse for the use of force.

The powers that be, need only catch a whiff of this and there will be trouble.

*pause for thought*

Look at the clouds...

White and puffy; floating across that bright expanse of blue.  Peaceful., idyllic, happy.

Happy to be –light playing through their folds, purposefully joyous.

Do I see in them day dreams, glimmers, of hope?

...A day, today even, where the upside down happenings of this year’s Passover have changed everything –or could change the world if we let them.

It’s not about Jesus being here.   Not physically anyway; it’s the tomb empty, Jesus mysteriously gone.

It’s how Jesus affected us, mentored how to live –to love; his presence continuing to be here somehow in everything I see, touch, hope, and imagine.  The clouds look redeemed somehow, and seem to cast the world in a different light...one full of potential for restoration, rebirth, and relationship.

It’s seeing –no finding –no experiencing- Jesus; dare I whisper, Messiah, somewhere in the world – through observation and serving.  I understand now.  Yes, through watching in the garden, washing feet, eating with everyone, sharing a meal with anyone.

It is the potential possibility of serving Christ in the present –this pushes us outward, onward, into the great unknown of resurrection.  Service causes resurrection, of relationship, of the Incarnate God...

Christ appears in that moment; Alive!   More than simply a day dream.    

God has not forsaken the world.    God is forgiving.  God is...

...when we are.

I [dream] a dream [within my heart]

I dream.. of love and [a] life worth living

I [believe] that love [can] never die 

-[for I sense that God’s alive.]  -Herbert Kretzmer - I DREAMED A DREAM

Part 2: GOOD FRIDAY

   -Lying down in front of altar, where fell asleep on Maundy Thurs.

Was that a rooster crowing?  It is morning right?  (Pause, stretch, on one elbow)

I did hear a rooster, could it be true that Peter denied Jesus? Was Peter asked to go to death with him?  Is he –Jesus -really going to die?    *sigh*

I’m staying put in this thinking spot, under the shelter of the olive trees and the growth underneath.  I’m in no hurry to be seen on the street; not after last night. 

On falling asleep last night, I remember dreaming that today, if Jesus was the Messiah, the world as we know it could look very different.

It is damp this morning, grey, seeping into every bone.  Voices carry through the mist, sitting heavy in the moisture.  I can hear the screaming of a crowd, like a fog horn,  “crucify, crucify” .....talk about a bad dream!

It must be that crazy crowd from last night; revved up from Passover, a little too much wine to drink, a depravity of sleep ...it wasn’t a dream after all.  They came with torches to take away Jesus, a man’s ear was cut off and healed, there was confusion...and here I sat to think and pray, and as always I fell asleep.  ...I fell asleep thinking of Jesus, and a dream that yet could be.

[I spent] a summer by [his] side

 [He] filled my days with endless wonder

 He took my childhood in his stride

 But he was gone when autumn came   -Herbert Kretzmer - I DREAMED A DREAM

He was speaking to us when the crowd came, Judas leading them.  It was a talk that sounded like autumn, the coming of cold weather, suffering, angst, sorrow, departure; there would be no more healings, no more signs, no more wonders.  The hope giving was over for the season.  It didn’t sound like a speech to coral the troops, and inspire us on to be, as Jesus said, “the ones who will sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel.”

*shiver*

The birds have fallen silent, the breeze has stopped -the trees breathless, the suffocating calm before the storm.  Darkness is creeping through the garden, eating broad daylight in its wake. And the ground continues to quake ...I fear the worst...

“My God, My God why have you forsaken us...your people, one more time.”

Is it not enough?  Is it not finished?

I’m not sure I have any more hope with which to dream.  I’m tired of seeking a Messiah.  I am spent. Tired.

I really thought that Jesus was the ONE...but no...

Maybe the story of covenant promise is just that -story.  Sure in the coming days, I’ll go through the motions of following the law, loving my neighbour half heartedly; but no feeling it.  My emotions are done.  Broken relationships and the death of hope leave me in the desert, where there are demons, poisonous snakes, and wild things.

*looking around*    Speaking of wild...

I’m going to seek shelter from this storm...ominous weather it is; the sky as black as tar, still yet brewing...in the forecast -hail, driving rain?  I am also running to hide from those who may come looking for us, Jesus’ followers –since it appears all has turned sour.  Our hopes dashed.  *standing*

Winter is settling in, I can feel it in my bones, my heart aches... all is not right in the world.  It’s as if the world has been abandoned by God.  Perhaps God is dead?

I had a dream my life would be

 So different from this hell I’m living

So different now from what it seems

 Now life has killed the dream I dreamed  -Herbert Kretzmer - I DREAMED A DREAM

Part 1: THE THREE DAYS –day dream segue

MAUNDY THURSDAY.   -Sitting in front of the altar

It’s safe enough here, now, for the moment.  They’ve gone away: the authorities taking Jesus, the crowd dispersing, some of the disciples following wrapped in all the people.  I have nowhere I want to go; imagine going home to an empty room; sleeping after all that has happened would be impossible. 

So here I slumber in the quiet of the garden, under the gently rustling leaves of the olive trees.  I stay here because I feel closer to him ...you know Jesus.  This is where we often came to get out of the heat of the sun, for a little privacy from the pushy crowds.  We would sit and eat lunch, laugh together, tease each other; and Jesus would teach, just us...our time to be disciples.  How many times did we recline in this spot to bask in wisdom, sage advice, to be challenged; to feel refreshed by the trees and the cheeps of the song birds?  

Yes, it was here, that we did a lot of praying, well often praying that led to peaceful sleeping for some of us.

*sigh*

Jesus was in top form tonight speaking in urgent passion around the Passover table, not that we understood, as per usual.  It’s like his words were coming from a different place.  He was present but distant. 

That’s why I have stayed here  -to find a spot to hide and think ... specifically to think about the times in which I live, to contemplate Jesus roll, my roll...and search for God.

Jesus sure went on and on about the kingdom of God.

I can picture the kingdom: a place where the land is fertile, the government seeks and acts justly, kindness is the norm, people walk humbly with God.  There is manna and mercy for all.          *sigh*

I dreamed a dream in time gone by

When hope was high and life worth living

I dreamed that love would never die

 I dreamed that God would be forgiving

 When I was young and unafraid

 When dreams were made and used and wasted

 There was no ransom to be paid

 No song unsung no wine untasted...   Herbert Kretzmer - I DREAMED A DREAM

There is a betrayer amongst us.  I get that.  In fact there may be more than one with such thoughts, but only to push Jesus to get a move on, to stand up and be the Messiah.  Enough squabbles with the religious leaders and scribes; been there done that, and it’s getting old...so a little push to spur Jesus’ kingdom talk into action...now, on to overthrowing the Romans.  Sure the healings have been nice, but in the long run this doesn’t change much -for individuals, sure-  but not the healing of the nation.  It’s time to fight the most domineering system we suffer under.  Don’t you think so?

Jesus talked of suffering and not eating until the kingdom.  It sounds like a time of war.  I suppose I’ll have to get a sword:  “And the one who has no sword must sell his cloak and buy one “, exactly.  That’s what Jesus said. 

Yes a sword with a leather wrapped hilt, used enough that the leather has a rusty patena, a double edged one if it can be found, with contoured sides...yes and a sheath –branded with my cousins sheep branding symbol –family symbol....sorry...where was I...

We’ve been at this finding a Messiah in earnest for the past 200 years, with leaders and revolts coming and going.  The dream is that one of these revolts will bring the fulfilment of every promise given to our fore-bearers: promises found in the scrolls of Isaiah and Jeremiah . 

But something is just not right.  He washed my feet.  Jesus spoke of the new covenant in the same breath as washing our feet and being a servant; talking of loving our neighbours.  What is wrong with the covenant we are living with now?  It is the rules to loving our neighbour.  If the Romans left us alone we would be able to live it fully, ...unless...it couldn’t be... “the Roman” is my neighbour?  ...*shake head* ... enough with the foggy daydream thinking!

It is time for a new exodus, I will buy into that. That is why I left my fish nets and boat in the first place. Passover reminds me of God and the discovery of God on the journey to the promised land.   Through the years, exodus and exile have happened again and again as people and powers come and go through the land.  This time Passover is different...the land we are in is where we are to be, it is part of us, so who or what makes an exit?

*mulling over the words*  .....Before I suffer.... Then he took a cup, and after giving thanks said, ‘Take this and divide it among yourselves; for I tell you that from now on I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.’

Poured out for you is the new covenant

‘You are those who have stood by me in my trials; and I confer on you, just as my Father has conferred on me, a kingdom, so that you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom, and you will sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel.

*furrowed brow*   .....Does the fulfilment of the covenant mean the kingdom?  For real...the covenant will come to end.  For centuries we have waited and hoped; the stories we learned at synagogue have become that, story, only story.  Who in this world of Greek philosophy and rabbinic theology would accept that the end is possible?

Jesus prayed for the bull-headed Peter too; that his faith would not fail –boisterous as he is it is hard to believe that that is even possible.  And Peter, I overheard, will come to strengthen us...come back from what?  For what will I need Peter’s all too belligerent rants or cheerleading speeches?  What will he see tonight?  He is always on the front line, following behind Jesus tonight in the crowd.  I can only imagine the exaggerated story he’ll tell.  Last time he talked on and on about seeing Moses and Elijah, with a glowing Jesus on the mountain.  Too mystical for me; I’m into simple chic –meaning practical, neat, step by step follow the directions and pouf - everything is AOK. So far life has not granted me this dream.

Yes Jesus, I heard you get up and pray that I may not come into the time of trial. Not tonight it is too late for that, I will put my head down only for a moment to consider all that I have seen and heard, to rest my head, to pray...   But the tigers come at night

With their voices soft as thunder

 As they tear your hopes apart

            As they turn your dreams to shame Herbert Kretzmer- I DREAMED A DREAM

Dare I hope, dare I dream, that tomorrow will come a new day, a new covenant, a hope that Jesus will have rocked the foundations of the very court, that walls would come tumbling down, that Romans will be running for their lives, that God would have returned, a proper king to be chosen for the throne, that there will be hosannas, and blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord?  Is it too much to hope for? That the world will be different, healed, new, a jubilee year; the prisoners set free, the blind seeing, lame walking, the widow provided for.  Is it too much to dream of?  Tonight, Jesus changing the world as we know it...

I dreamed a dream in time gone by

When hope was high and life worth living

I dreamed that love would never die

 I dreamed that God would be forgiving.....  Herbert Kretzmer - I DREAMED A DREAM