MAUNDY
THURSDAY. -Sitting in front of the altar
It’s safe
enough here, now, for the moment.
They’ve gone away: the authorities taking Jesus, the crowd dispersing,
some of the disciples following wrapped in all the people. I have nowhere I want to go; imagine going
home to an empty room; sleeping after all that has happened would be
impossible.
So here I
slumber in the quiet of the garden, under the gently rustling leaves of the
olive trees. I stay here because I feel
closer to him ...you know Jesus. This is
where we often came to get out of the heat of the sun, for a little privacy
from the pushy crowds. We would sit and
eat lunch, laugh together, tease each other; and Jesus would teach, just
us...our time to be disciples. How many
times did we recline in this spot to bask in wisdom, sage advice, to be
challenged; to feel refreshed by the trees and the cheeps of the song birds?
Yes, it was
here, that we did a lot of praying, well often praying that led to peaceful sleeping
for some of us.
*sigh*
Jesus was
in top form tonight speaking in urgent passion around the Passover table, not
that we understood, as per usual. It’s
like his words were coming from a different place. He was present but distant.
That’s why
I have stayed here -to find a spot to
hide and think ... specifically to think about the times in which I live, to
contemplate Jesus roll, my roll...and search for God.
Jesus sure
went on and on about the kingdom of God.
I can
picture the kingdom: a place where the land is fertile, the government seeks
and acts justly, kindness is the norm, people walk humbly with God. There is manna and mercy for all. *sigh*
I dreamed
a dream in time gone by
When hope
was high and life worth living
I dreamed
that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
When I was young and unafraid
When dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
There is a
betrayer amongst us. I get that. In fact there may be more than one with such
thoughts, but only to push Jesus to get a move on, to stand up and be the
Messiah. Enough squabbles with the
religious leaders and scribes; been there done that, and it’s getting old...so
a little push to spur Jesus’ kingdom talk into action...now, on to overthrowing
the Romans. Sure the healings have been
nice, but in the long run this doesn’t change much -for individuals, sure- but not the healing of the nation. It’s time to fight the most domineering
system we suffer under. Don’t you think
so?
Jesus
talked of suffering and not eating until the kingdom. It sounds like a time of war. I suppose I’ll have to get a sword: “And the one who has no sword must
sell his cloak and buy one “,
exactly. That’s what Jesus said.
Yes a sword
with a leather wrapped hilt, used enough that the leather has a rusty patena, a
double edged one if it can be found, with contoured sides...yes and a sheath
–branded with my cousins sheep branding symbol –family symbol....sorry...where
was I...
We’ve been
at this finding a Messiah in earnest for the past 200 years, with leaders and
revolts coming and going. The dream is
that one of these revolts will bring the fulfilment of every promise given to
our fore-bearers: promises found in the scrolls of Isaiah and Jeremiah .
But
something is just not right. He washed
my feet. Jesus spoke of the new covenant
in the same breath as washing our feet and being a servant; talking of loving
our neighbours. What is wrong with the
covenant we are living with now? It is
the rules to loving our neighbour. If
the Romans left us alone we would be able to live it fully, ...unless...it
couldn’t be... “the Roman” is my neighbour?
...*shake head* ... enough with the foggy daydream thinking!
It is time
for a new exodus, I will buy into that. That is why I left my fish nets and
boat in the first place. Passover reminds me of God and the discovery of God on
the journey to the promised land.
Through the years, exodus and exile have happened again and again as
people and powers come and go through the land.
This time Passover is different...the land we are in is where we are to
be, it is part of us, so who or what makes an exit?
*mulling
over the words* .....Before I
suffer.... Then he took a cup, and after giving thanks said, ‘Take this and
divide it among yourselves; for I tell you that from now on I will not drink of
the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.’
Poured out for you is the new
covenant
‘You are those who have stood by me in my trials; and I
confer on you, just as my Father has conferred on me, a kingdom, so that you
may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom, and you will sit on thrones
judging the twelve tribes of Israel.
*furrowed
brow* .....Does the fulfilment of the
covenant mean the kingdom? For
real...the covenant will come to end.
For centuries we have waited and hoped; the stories we learned at
synagogue have become that, story, only story.
Who in this world of Greek philosophy and rabbinic theology would accept
that the end is possible?
Jesus
prayed for the bull-headed Peter too; that his faith would not fail –boisterous
as he is it is hard to believe that that is even possible. And Peter, I overheard, will come to
strengthen us...come back from what? For
what will I need Peter’s all too belligerent rants or cheerleading speeches? What will he see tonight? He is always on the front line, following
behind Jesus tonight in the crowd. I can
only imagine the exaggerated story he’ll tell.
Last time he talked on and on about seeing Moses and Elijah, with a
glowing Jesus on the mountain. Too
mystical for me; I’m into simple chic –meaning practical, neat, step by step
follow the directions and pouf - everything is AOK. So far life has not granted
me this dream.
Yes Jesus,
I heard you get up and pray that I may not come into the time of trial. Not
tonight it is too late for that, I will put my head down only for a moment to
consider all that I have seen and heard, to rest my head, to pray... But the
tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hopes apart
Dare I
hope, dare I dream, that tomorrow will come a new day, a new covenant, a hope
that Jesus will have rocked the foundations of the very court, that walls would
come tumbling down, that Romans will be running for their lives, that God would
have returned, a proper king to be chosen for the throne, that there will be
hosannas, and blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord? Is it too much to hope for? That the world
will be different, healed, new, a jubilee year; the prisoners set free, the
blind seeing, lame walking, the widow provided for. Is it too much to dream of? Tonight, Jesus changing the world as we know
it...
I dreamed
a dream in time gone by
When hope
was high and life worth living
I dreamed
that love would never die
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