The Best Gift Ever ------ PENT 4C-2016

I have here a delightful gift box, in a creative design, with a stylish silver bow.

The gift inside is wrapped in golden tissue. The gift in this box is precious.  The gift in this box is the best gift ever. The best to receive, the best to give.

If you were to receive this gift – what would you wish it to be? ……

Looking at the texts for today, if the characters were offered this box, “the best gift in the world,” what would they wish was inside the box?

We start with the text from Samuel. We enter towards the end of the story of King David.  King David has seen Bathsheba bathing and has called her to his house; she became pregnant; so David called her husband Uriah back from the war front – but Uriah would not go to his house and stayed in the barracks with the other soldiers; so David set about sending Uriah back out to the field in the midst of the worst fighting so that he would die; of course readers know that Bathsheba is pregnant with David’s child. In the text from today the news arrives that Uriah is dead.  Nathan the prophet is with David and prophecies the death of the baby yet to be born, that David’s house will continue to live by the sword, that what he now owns will be taken away --- David has sinned. 

Addressing this messy situation – what is the best gift ever- ?

In the Letter to the Galatians, we are introduced to a debate in the early church. The situation is whether or not Gentiles (named here as sinners and thus unclean) needed to convert to Judaism, to be adherents of the Law, in order to be followers of Jesus and members in the community.  Gentiles and Jews did not mingle, each having their own practices and way of living. Paul, to the chagrin of many, proclaimed that Gentiles need only to adhere to Christ.

Addressing this messy situation – what is the best gift ever-?

Luke recounts a story comparing the invitation given Jesus by Simon the Pharisee to his home for dinner and the hospitality as shown by a woman – who brings ointment and anoints Jesus’ feet with it and her tears. Simon tries to shoo the woman – whom he’s judged as a sinner- away. She is unclean.  People are eating. Those at the table are judging Jesus’ choice to allow the woman to continue her loving action.

Addressing this messy, uncomfortable, situation – what is the best gift ever-?

Each text has words that tell us what gift is in the box.

David hears the Word: “The Lord has put away your sins; you shall not die.” Putting away sins is an act of forgiveness; a forgiveness that brings life.

The church of Galatia hears the Word: “It is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Out of love God’s Son dies for all --- forgiveness that brings life.

The woman hears, as do all at Simon’s table, the Word: “Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you, go in peace.”  -  Forgiveness that brings life.

Inside this box – the best gift ever- whether receiving or giving- is forgiveness.

Earlier when you called out your wishes for the gift in the box, you called out important and valid gifts.  Love, hope, healing, peace, joy, abundance, faith, community, friendship, family- all gifts that could change and revolutionize our life situations and the world around us. Today I suggest that forgiveness tops them all.

Of course forgiveness does not stand alone, and in fact is intertwined with love – but, forgiveness is unique and far rarer than love.

Pause and reflect on the times you say, “I love you.” ………How often do you say, “I forgive you?” …or “I need forgiveness.”

We can love places, things, animals, people – with no need of forgiveness; we just love – whether through liking, caring, compassion, mercy, grace – a feeling.  Forgiveness is difficult; it is hard work; it is time consuming; it is heart rendering; it changes the core of who we are and our relationships with others. It is impossible to achieve without an underpinning of love.

John Monbourgquette – psychotherapist and priest says: Forgiveness is such a perfect act that it surpasses the mere psychological capacity of a person. This is why one must rely heavily on one’s religious and spiritual resources to accomplish authentic forgiveness. This does not mean that the forgiver has to accept the particular creeds of institutionalized religion, but he or she must at least delve into the spiritual and the sacred realm of the soul.  The therapeutic effectiveness of forgiving is conditioned by the forgiver’s feeling that he or she is loved and forgiven by a higher spiritual Power of Love.”

We hear this in the parable Jesus tells of the debtors who are forgiven their debts, and we see it illustrated in the actions of the woman who wipes Jesus’ feet with her hair.  Something has happened that has affected her heart at an intimate level – such that a gift of love, a gift of asking for forgiveness and an expression of the forgiveness already experienced is articulated through action. Forgiveness has brought life – abundant life.

Peter VanKatwyk, one of my seminary professors of pastoral care, quotes the following definition of forgiveness:  forgiveness is “a willingness to abandon one’s right to resentment, negative judgment and indifferent behaviour toward one who unjustly hurt us, while fostering the undeserved qualities of compassion, generosity, and even love toward him or her.”

---the willingness to abandon one’s right to resentment---Forgiveness is a choice. It is a choice that believes that relationship is more than one’s ego.  It is being less to be more, or more to be less, depending on how you choose to describe the interaction with oneself.

A little girl was once asked what forgiveness is...She gave a beautiful answer...
"It is the fragrance that flowers give when they are crushed..."

Eighteen years of ministry has taught me that of all the virtues the least grasped, the least used, and the most damaging when not practiced is forgiveness.  Forgiveness isn’t practiced as it requires a willingness to let go – and people seem attached to their baggage and want to keep it. Face it, it gives us something to talk about, to complain about, to make us look like the martyr. It allows us to have an excuse for forgetting, for misadventure, for being too busy and overwhelmed to participate in life giving ministry; it allows us an “out” for being occasionally unkind or mean – not ourselves. Forgiveness isn’t practiced as it requires an investment of self, time, and perhaps compromise, giving-in, a change of heart, a change of lifestyle, a letting go of having to be right even if it is a time when we are right. Forgiveness could be applied to all the messy situations in which human beings find themselves- in my experience forgiveness is the answer or the balm -the ointment- to the breaking down of relationships; spouses, parent-child, siblings, friends, church communities; forgiveness is the ointment that allows a loved one to die well, with no regrets, guilt, or transferred baggage; Forgiveness is the healing property for those fighting addiction, or those who self-harm; forgiveness gives the ability to cope with life and move forward.  Forgiveness is the difference of someone who lives to survive and someone who abundantly and thankfully lives.

“You are forgiven.” “Through Christ you are forgiven.” We all need to hear this Word.  Most weeks we hear that word, “as a called an ordained minister of the church of Christ and by his authority, I declare unto you the entire forgiveness of all your sin.”  When I say that, I mean it. It’s not me, but, the power that works through me that forgives your sin.  You are forgiven. ---- and when you have a willingness to abandon your ego, you are changed because of that very Word; that fact!

Today there are many who are not present in church pews to hear this very important Word.  To be Good News in the world, to share Christ, it has fallen on us to be the spokes people --- yes, each of us.  It is our responsibility to articulate to the people we meet: You are forgiven.  Through Christ you are forgiven.  I forgive you. In these words the outside Power of Love is given as a gift -forgiveness is given as a gift- and it is a blessing set it on individuals and communities. These words could be the very Word that changes the trajectory of the receiver’s life.  It will change the gift giver – it will change you.

Perhaps the most perplexing -or annoying- thing about forgiveness is that simply saying, “please forgive me” or “I forgive you” is only the beginning of the journey.

Clarissa Pinkola Estés – poet and Jungian psychoanalyst writes: “How does one know if she has forgiven? You tend to feel sorrow over the circumstance instead of rage, you tend to feel sorry for the person rather than angry with him. You tend to have nothing left to say about it at all.”

This is my prayer for you this week, that you have a willingness to abandon your right to resentment, negative judgement, and indifferent behaviour. That rage turns to sorrow, and anger with to feeling sorry for. That in the end you have nothing left to say about it at all. And by giving and receiving the gift of forgiveness you experience abundant life.