Saturday, February 25, 2023

Through the Desert, Bright Sadness

 

Prayers of all sort most welcomed…(don’t want to limit your wishes and petitions with my biases…larger entities see way more than me!)  --Let me share that again…

 Prayers of all sort most welcomed…(don’t want to limit your wishes and petitions with my biases…larger entities see way more than me!) 

Earlier this week, this came to me in the body of an email. It was from a person who is walking with a loved one through a pretty scary medical diagnosis and treatment plan.

The person’s words articulate for me the purpose of Lent.

Prayer of all sort – for sure. In Lent we do a lot of praying and confessing.

But the most Lenten part – I don’t want to limit, with my biases- to discover brightness in the sadness of Lent, the sadness of circumstance, the deserts of life, one needs to let go of wants, expectations, desires, convenience, efficiency, immediacy, answers – and humbly sit in the circumstance attentively listening, praying, and being present.

There are larger entities that see way more than we – to be present and in connection and relationship with all that is without the need to understand, explain, or justify. This is embracing Lent. Lent is about being open and vulnerable and trusting that, as the prayer of Julien of Norwich says, All shall be well. And all shall be well. And all manner of things shall be well.

 

The desert. Human beings on their own do not do so well in the desert; whether the desert is a health crisis, grieving a loss, forced transition, shifting society, or decaying systems. These desert spaces are uncomfortable, and too often we mindlessly pray that the roulette wheel of ‘bad news’ will skip our number, so that life rotates onward, on course, and without interruption.

 

The truth that we so voraciously try to push aside is that life is full of interruption, the uncomfortable, and the chaotic. Human beings try really hard, we try really hard, to push down our fears and not think about the instability of world, and even less, admit the instability of our own person.

Believe it or not, this is what Lent is about. Created by the church for the welfare of humankind; five weeks are marked every year, as a pit stop in the deserts of life. The five week pause is a set time and place for people to reflect and connect with each other -community- God, and themselves; a forced season to step outside of the ordinary and to find in being vulnerable a love beyond explanation and a hope deeper than our very depths. To get to a place of love beyond explanation and a hope deeper than our very depths we have to practice letting go. Lent rituals, Lent prayer, Lent themes are presented by the church for the people -for us- to do this hard work.  Only then can we journey to what Orthodox theologian Alexander Schmemmen refers to as a state of ‘bright sadness.’

 

Bright sadness. The season of Lent does not shy away from heavy topics – sin, death, the devil. The church has curated a series of stories from the Bible to be told each year. The stories are not for the faint of heart – this is not magazine reading where one can flip through quickly, the stories are the kind that cause trouble.

Take the story from Genesis. Interpreters of the Bible have spent much time through the centuries discussing, debating, and pointing fingers at whose fault it was that Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden of Eden. Much theologizing has and does occur on the theme of who birthed sin into the world. Honestly does it matter?

This year thanks to a devotional book I have been reading, I came to the text with a new perspective. Consider for a moment that the discussion and debate are a smoke screen set in place as a distraction to keep humans – to keep us- from taking an honest look at ourselves and our relationships – pinpointing the separation, the sin in our lives, that has hurt our connection with God, others, creation, and our inner self.  It is more comfortable to point fingers, especially back to the beginning of time – putting sin at a distance in someone else’s hands.

It is this separation that put Eve and Adam out of the garden -the brokenness of our relationships keeps us out of the garden.

 

The garden. Jesus, in his last days, arrives in the garden; the garden of Gethsemane, not the paradise of Eden, but a place of bright sadness. He gets to this holy place because he took time to go to the desert. In the desert, in a Lenten practice, Jesus choose to be vulnerable -to let go by praying and not limiting the situation to his biases. Jesus humbly wandered in the desert attentively listening, praying, and being present; speaking to each human desire as it arose, and remaining present, let them go each in turn--- knowledge, wealth, power --- to move past human desire to fall into a love beyond explanation and a hope deeper than human depths; a place where one is fed by angels.

 

Ronald Rolheiser, an Oblate of Mary Immaculate wrote:

For us, Satan and wild animals refer particularly to the chaos inside of us that normally we either deny or simply refuse to face: our paranoia, our anger, our jealousies, our distance from others, our fantasies, our grandiosity, our addictions, our unresolved hurts, our sexual complexity, our incapacity to really pray, our faith doubts, and our dark secrets.

The normal ‘food’ that we eat (distractions, busyness, entertainment, ordinary life) works to shield us from the deeper chaos that lurks beneath the surface of our lives.

Lent invites us to stop eating, so to speak, whatever protects us from having to face the desert that is inside us. It invites us to feel our smallness, to feel our vulnerability, to feel our fears, and to open ourselves to the chaos of the desert so that we can finally give the angels a chance to feed us.

-pg. xiii “Rediscovering the Meaning of Lent and Easter: God For Us, “ 2014 Paraclette Press

 

Come, open your heart and rest in the desert.

Come seek a love beyond explanation and a hope deeper than our depths.  

Prayers of all sort most welcomed…(don’t want to limit your wishes and petitions with my biases…larger entities see way more than me!) 

 

Thanks be to God. Amen.

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