There are a number of things I take great pride in, one being that for the most part I am independant. I like to be able to do all things, and all things well, with little to no assistance. I do not like appearing weak, unable, or lazy.
Since Jan.19th I have had to not, as my massage therapist says, "be the hero".
I was in a significant car accident, and as I have said over and over, "yes I am fine." I have sore shoulders and my neck needs some reconditioning, but I am fine.
...but not "fine" like I was before...
Before:
* I could put tables up in the church hall by myself
* I could sit through a meeting that lasted a couple of hours
* I could type for hours at a time
* My head didn't feel heavier as the day went on
* I could get in the car and drive wherever
* I could lift a big box of paper out of the car and take it to the church
* I could sweep the church stairs
* I could go from meeting to meeting, here or in ON, or Lunenburg Co.
And now...and I suppose a GRACE I should have learned years ago (as I bite off more than I probably should, move things heavier than I should, do more than is expected)...
I have had to learn to say, "I can't" and "I need help"
It is rather humbling to have a congregation and community of friends who have offered to help me in any way possible: laundry, cooking, being on call, taking a service, carrying things from the house to the church or the other way around, allowing me to cancel out on engagements, a husband who stayed home from work the first day -just incase.
I think by saying "I can't" or "I need help" I have let go of a part of me, and allowed space for more gratitude. This is grace!
No comments:
Post a Comment